My Life in Lederhosen: Flirten, auf Deutsch | Insider Views | Expatica Germany My Life in Lederhosen: Flirten, auf Deutsch | Insider Views | Expatica Germany

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I have been here for seven years and I still cannot get a grip on the eye contact rules and am therefore known by many as that totally disinterested American. Sorry, dude, that was just my being American. Nodding and um-hming while someone else speaks might normally be bad form in Germany, but in aulas de artes marciais online dating mode, it's a sign of complete and total interest.

This shifty-eyed tendency actually comes in handy at bars, where I promise you, I am not out looking for dates but am instead swilling whiskey and singing Vanilla Ice with my friends — and only because doing this by myself at home is frowned upon.

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Because of my complete inability to make eye contact with strangers who approach me, my friends have resorted to calling me the heartbreaker. They also confirmed that alcohol is not required in these situations, so I guess the Guardian wasn't all wrongand I actually don't have to perfect the 'duck-and-cover' skills my English friends have honed after years of being lunged at by drunk Brits; let's be honest, though, alcohol could really help in this scenario.

Then again, I am neither pretty nor self-confident enough to ever just walk up to a guy. The closest I came to flirting recently was when a friend-of-a-friend had me in tears of laughter over the summer, but that was a pretty one-sided flirtation on his part. This is especially important if German is not your first language.

In the US, this would be something akin to sneaking a glance, making brief contact then looking away, smiling shyly. And while the ability to make me laugh is hot hot hot, it's not the only pre-requisite for doing the no-pants dance.

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Anyway, this summer I half-assedly attempted this whole German technique of asking a guy out. Also, I am the pickiest person in the universe and it is a seriously rare occasion when a man catches my fancy; plus, I refuse to flirt if I don't mean it, so I literally have no practice at flirting.

Milly is the pseudonymous alter ego of an American expat writing from Cologne, home of Germany's most visited tourist site and Europe's busiest train station.

My Life in Lederhosen: Flirten, auf Deutsch

If you've gotten this far, congratulations! While young men are asking my friends, "Zu mir oder zu dir?

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German flirting signals might be an intimidating kind of bold, but not if you master the rules. If you want to contact Expatica for any other reason, please follow the instructions on this website's contact page.

Which brings me to my final flirting advice, which is:. This question turned deutsche flirten an interview, turned into a deutsche flirten, friendly chat, which turned into him telling me how hard it was being deutsche flirten divorced middle-aged man and dreaming out loud of our future together, which turned into him trying to talk his way into my private space.

But basically, if you make it this far, and there is sexual tension, this is the part of 'flirting' where you get to be yourself and tell funny stories and giggle a little bit. Maybe you can try it and let me know how it goes? How long does this no-blinking thing have to go on before one just jumps the other one?

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This question turned into an interview, turned into a nice, friendly chat, which turned into him telling me how hard it was being a divorced middle-aged man and dreaming out loud of our future together, which turned into him trying to talk his way into my private space. But rule deutsche flirten in Germany is that the women start and continue the deutsche flirten and when words fail, so do I.

You know, like is it a staring contest, trying to not be the one to look away first?

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This question turned into an interview, turned into a nice, friendly chat, which turned into him telling me how hard it was being a divorced middle-aged man and dreaming out loud of our future together, which turned into him trying to talk his way into my private space.

Reprinted with permission of My Life in Lederhosen. That stuff doesn't work in Germany, where the icy stare of death is a common form of greeting and anything less signals that you are either a shifty-eyed foreigner not to be trusted or totally disinterested.

Flirten, auf Deutsch – My Life in Lederhosen

For me, chatting up a guy plus making eye contact with him means only one thing. Also, if you aren't interested in a person, do not ever say, "I'm not really looking for a relationship. Actually, being Anglo-Saxon here is a definite plus because all that politeness training you get as a kid goes a really long way toward getting someone to like you.

I ask questions for a living. Anyway, this summer I half-assedly attempted this whole German technique of asking a guy out.

This is especially important if German is not your first language. Although I'm told that here it may not actually have to be a conversation; it can just be a look Keine verstecken Kosten, keine Abofalle!

Not all that different in Teutonia.

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I ask questions for a living. But really, this blog is all about the dialogue, so tell me, oh wise ones: Literally I could not get a single flipping word to escape my lips.

Maybe you can try it and let me know how it goes? I thought perhaps my friend was leading me on when she said this, but every single female I know who's dated in Germany has confirmed that women here do have the upper-hand when it comes to instigation.

Flirten, auf Deutsch 0 comments Staring incessantly is an ice-breaker not a scare tactic when dating in Germany.

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If you believe any of the information on this page is incorrect or out-of-date, please let us know. While flirting, choose your words wisely.

And after learning that in Germany women do the work upfront, I have been seriously questioning my decision to spend my single days in this particular land.

Alte Frau sucht jungen Mann…. Comment here on the article, or if you have a suggestion to improve this article, please click here.

Russian Girls: Flirten auf Russisch (2012)

But really, this blog is all about the dialogue, so tell me, oh wise ones: I am not hitting on you if I'm asking you a question. Because of my complete inability to make eye contact with strangers who approach me, my friends have resorted to calling me the heartbreaker.

This shifty-eyed tendency actually comes in handy at bars, where I promise you, I am not out looking for dates but am instead swilling whiskey and singing Vanilla Ice with my friends only because doing this by myself at home is frowned upon.